Jules' Jewels

Kacey Musgraves Golden Hour

Kacey Musgraves Golden Hour Desert Island

A desert island doesn’t sound like the worst thing that could happen to me, as long as I had good music to keep me company. Being stranded and away from humanity might be a nice break for me as I cherish my alone time. Due to this, I would want an album that would bring me back to self care and rehabilitating vibes. Something that would remind me of good times and people that I love. Kacey Musgraves’ Golden Hour encapsulates everything I want to be as a woman. Independent, strong, and resilient. More truthfully, it would help to remind me of what I want out of this life, and how I can do anything I want. The album is perfect for sunrises, mid-afternoon chill sessions, early evenings, and sunsets. Which is why I would want it with me on my small island where there is nothing but Kacey and I. 

On this love ballad album, Musgraves’ muse for her writing was her husband, now ex, who she wrote the album about. It was written during the honeymoon phase of their marriage, which ended in 2020. The couple split and now Musgraves finds it hard to sing the album and disassociate from the lyrics which once had deep meaning to her and her husband. But, through all of this, Kacey Musgraves is trying to find new meaning for her album. And I think that this speaks true for how many consumers feel about music. One day, it had a certain meaning to it, but life happens, and that meaning can also change. Though my connection with the album has little to do with romantic love, it has a different meaning where I became the woman I want to be. And I think that is beautiful. 

Kacey Musgraves found success early, having released music as early as twelve years old. Throughout her adolescence, she continued to write and release music under a variety of labels. She is a country star, having won four grammys in 2019. Among those, she won Album of the Year. The album still remains in history. Kacey recently released a new album in September of 2021 called Star Crossed. The album is about her divorce and coping with her struggles during that time. Musgraves grew up in Golden, Texas where her musical talents started and shined at a young age. She began writing music and made appearances on Nashville Star but unfortunately only placed seventh. After this, the group Lady Antebellum asked her to tour with them. She then released her hit single “Merry Go ‘Round” and quickly rose to fame as the single reached the Billboard Country Airplay at number 10 in 2013. Quickly after, her music was placed number two on Billboard’s Top 200. Since then, she has released other albums that helped her climb to fame such as A Merry Kacey Christmas and Pageant Material. The two albums had much success. Apparently, Kacey Musgraves is working on new music for this year, too. 

In times of struggle, I have found that music is my solstice. There have been so many times in my life where music was the driving factor for me to even get out of bed. Though I am not musically inclined, music has been a huge part of my life. More recently, the struggle of mental health has really taken a toll on me as well as eating disorders and substance abuse. The only way to motivate me to finish schoolwork, eat food, or even wake up in the morning was to listen to music. When I moved to California to better my health and mental well-being, I would sit at my kitchen table and look out the window and play Kacey Musgraves Golden Hour album. I usually hate country music, but something about Musgraves voice took me to a place that helped me enjoy the genre. It transcended me into a different place – one where I was successful, happy, and satisfied. Because of that feeling, I started to chase my dreams and applied to schools that I never thought would have accepted me, have a healthy relationship with food, family, and friends, while also getting out of bed and getting small but meaningful tasks done. This album solidified who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. 

Kacey Musgraves was not on my radar until my sister introduced me to her music. My sister and I had not always gotten along, but with my mental health slipping and my fight with anorexia and depression grew, she was one of the only people I felt I could talk to about anything and would understand what I was going through. She was instrumental in helping me become the person I am today, and I am forever thankful for her tiring efforts to bring light into my life. She was the one that taught me that having a “Lonely Weekend” or “Slow Burn” in recovery was okay, and nothing to be ashamed of. Because of her, I am here today, and she is my “Rainbow”.

Although Golden Hour was released in 2018, I did not discover the album until the beginning of March 2020. The coronavirus had just hit and I had made the decision to focus on my mental health and move to California to get away from the mess I had created in Colorado. My extended family lives in California so I was able to be connected with them, but I was away from my immediate family, which made things hard for me. There were days that I just wanted to fly back home and never look back, but I knew that if I were to do that, my hard work would not have paid off. Instead, I reached out to my sister and had her send me things that reminded her of me. She sent this album, and I listened religiously. I was working in the morning while also managing my online classes in the afternoon. So when I did finally have time to sit down and journal, I would put on this album. It grounded me and gave me a reminder that there were better things out there for me. Musgraves’ voice was as smooth as butter while enchanting me with her ballads and powerhouse vocals. She created a space for me to listen and admire an artist for their grit and talent, something that gave me chills for the first time.

The first song that grabbed my heart was “Butterflies”. Part of the reason I moved away from home was because of my endless amount of failed romantic relationships. Most fell apart due to me and my supply of problems. For a long time, I thought that maybe there was no one out there for me. No one could possibly give me the butterflies anymore. But, I soon realized that romantic relationships were not the only things that could provide that warm and full feeling in my stomach. When I listened to the song, it brought me back to the first time I had stepped onto the sand looking out on the ocean. The waves perfectly crashed over one another, and I thought how beautiful that moment was. I was thankful to have that moment because I was reminded that I cannot control everything, there was something greater than myself out there. And that feeling gave me butterflies. Since then, I have been chasing butterflies. In everything I do, I remind myself that that feeling is possible, and I have been resilient to find that feeling. Reading, writing, and quality time with special people are the things that remind me of this song. And I cherish them. Because without them, I would have lost my butterflies. 

Another really important song to me is “Wonder Woman” because it expresses how I have felt throughout the duration of my short 22 years on earth. For so long, I felt like I was gravitating towards unrewarding relationships. Whether that be to family, friends, romantic relationships, academia, or even my athletic life. The song is speaking to how troubling it is for someone, like me, with relationships that depend heavily on that person. The lyrics “Bet all that gold gets heavy weighin’ on her / I wonder if it’s scary, always tryin’ not to get hurt / I know how it feels, it ain’t easy” which heavily resonated with my soul. She also states “If I let you down / I don’t mean to” that I feel defines who I am as a person. I try to continue to block myself from pain whilst carrying the weight of others on my shoulder. If it were a perfect world, I would be able to help others and help myself. But I am no superhero, and I cannot hold other things before myself and that is something that I take away from this song. 

I am now nearly two years clean and sober from substances and my eating disorders. Even on my worst days when I want to give up, I come back to this album. If not for my sister and for this album, I would not be the person I am today. I am so grateful to be able to share my experiences with others and pursue a life with meaning and dignity. Just because those things are in my past, does not mean I will let them impact my future. And to that, I think, “Oh, What A World”.